A good picture for this week! Things to think about:
Think about expanded noun phrases; think about using the passive voice; can you add speech using the correct punctuation throughout?
21 Comments
Peyton
20/11/2017 08:27:49 pm
Shadows...
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Mr. Tomkins
20/11/2017 08:47:34 pm
Well done Peyton; this is on 100wc.net now.
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Bea
21/11/2017 04:31:33 pm
The park was unusually quiet.
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Mr. Tomkins
21/11/2017 07:39:50 pm
Well done Bea! I love your effort in putting in semi colons - it is really showing your effort.
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Joseph
21/11/2017 04:42:38 pm
Cloaked Figure
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Mr. Tomkins
21/11/2017 07:41:58 pm
Well done Joseph - good use of parenthesis in the writing. It has been posted on 100wc.net.
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Oscar
21/11/2017 04:59:33 pm
BOOM! CRACK! "AAAHHHHHHH!" Oscar screamed. He was petrified because the sun was out and Oscar was on a nice walk in the forest and lightning struck the floor right next to him, a mysterious figure hand been summoned from the dead and its were arms wide open as if it was trying to catch him.
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Mr. Tomkins
21/11/2017 07:46:57 pm
Well done Oscar - I can really feel that you are using your 100 words to build suspense in this writing. Keep up the good effort. It has been posted on 100wc.
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Alfie
21/11/2017 06:08:29 pm
The Grim Reaper
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Mr. Tomkins
21/11/2017 07:52:17 pm
Well done Alfie - your character description is very strong. There's a bit about me that wants to build more of a picture of Riverside Park! It is on 100wc.net.
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Mr. Tomkins
21/11/2017 07:53:03 pm
All of the above have been published. Remember to find yours in the 100WC tab in this blog; copy and paste the link for your unique entry; comment on someone else's entry and ask them to read yours by pasting the URL.
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meganks
22/11/2017 07:06:38 pm
“What’s that noise?” I said to myself. A twig snapping behind me. I turned around, all I could see was darkness. There It was again the same noise. Something is coming closer. I turn, the tree branches reaching out like waving hands but trying to grab me. I run, faster and faster. Mud trying to slow me. I’m sinking, mud pulling at my ankles. Suddenly a black figure with no face appears. I scream but there is no sound.
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Mr. Tomkins
22/11/2017 09:12:04 pm
Megan, I am really impressed with this effort: you are really starting to build a picture in the mind of the audience. Suspense is built and the vocabulary is really getting there.
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Rachel
23/11/2017 04:03:55 pm
It was a bright morning. I went out into the garden to make daisy chains to put in my hair.
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Mr. Tomkins
23/11/2017 06:11:07 pm
Good effort Rachel - I really like the way your story starts and ends with a daisy chain, it creates a really nice 'full circle' effect on the writing. It is on 100wc.net. Get commenting. :-)
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Eleanor
24/11/2017 05:29:50 pm
The park was weird. Creepy. Dull. Silent. Nothing made a sound until,
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Mr. Tomkins
24/11/2017 07:26:17 pm
Good effort Eleanor; I have posted your entry. I am delighted that you attempted some 1 word sentences to build suspense and an expanded noun phrase about the statue!
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Paulina
24/11/2017 06:15:43 pm
It was my birthday... In the corner of my eye I spotted a black figure staring at me throw the window.
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Mr. Tomkins
24/11/2017 07:32:51 pm
Good effort Paulina - you have built suspense well around your birthday theme! Well done.
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Paulina
24/11/2017 06:18:43 pm
Hey Mr.T my story is called Scary Birthday.. I made it about a birthday because my birthdays coming up and also why not! And Mr.T How was your Day????
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Mr. Tomkins
24/11/2017 07:28:18 pm
I thought it might be called that! It is now on 100wc.net! I have had a good day thanks - I spent this afternoon doing some final preparations for somethings that we are doing next week!
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