100WC - Scary! - Elder Tree Class Blog

100WC - Scary!

19/11/2017

A good picture for this week!

Things to think about:

Who is it?
What are they doing there?
Should you be afraid?
What is the climax of your story?

Think about expanded noun phrases; think about using the passive voice; can you add speech using the correct punctuation throughout?

21 Comments

Peyton

20/11/2017 08:27:49 pm

Shadows...

Shadows... There everywhere! Sometimes people say that they or other people lurk in the shadows. Behind other people, copycats, and
other things you don’t want to know.

But sometimes it’s not like that. I was going camping out with my friends and backpacks full of stuff that is useless in this occasion.
But Sofie notist something more strange than my dad not wearing underwear!

A black figure standing next to a note. I crept over with my knees shaking and my teeth shattering.

The figure moves towards me and grabs me harshly : i scream so loud everybody hears me.

Luckily it’s just a nightmare.

Mr. Tomkins

20/11/2017 08:47:34 pm

Well done Peyton; this is on 100wc.net now.
I like your attempt at a colon; keep going!

Bea

21/11/2017 04:31:33 pm

The park was unusually quiet.

No one was around.

We thought it would be a chance to play on all we could...

That was when we saw him.

A tall dark figure in a old cloak; standing amongst the autumn trees. Arms crossed and hood up. his brown cloak billowing in the wind behind him.

Was he real?

I wanted to scream; I couldn't.

Then he glided over to us like a boat drifting on water.

We must of been a trance. Did he put us in it?

Mr. Tomkins

21/11/2017 07:39:50 pm

Well done Bea! I love your effort in putting in semi colons - it is really showing your effort.

Joseph

21/11/2017 04:42:38 pm

Cloaked Figure

It was about 6:30 pm. and I was on the way home. By now it was getting dark. I thought I knew a shortcut through the park. I ran across the muddy football pitch (which was really a field with a goal either end). I saw something between two trees so I went to investigate.
And there it stood a scary man in a cloak with his hood up.
“AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed.
I ran all the way back home.
The next day I went back to see if the man was still there. But he wasn’t, the only thing there was a statue.

Mr. Tomkins

21/11/2017 07:41:58 pm

Well done Joseph - good use of parenthesis in the writing. It has been posted on 100wc.net.

Oscar

21/11/2017 04:59:33 pm

BOOM! CRACK! "AAAHHHHHHH!" Oscar screamed. He was petrified because the sun was out and Oscar was on a nice walk in the forest and lightning struck the floor right next to him, a mysterious figure hand been summoned from the dead and its were arms wide open as if it was trying to catch him.

Everywhere Oscar went it was there and not behind him where it was earlier Oscar had no idea what to do, so he went to reception but no-one was there so he went in and found that figure with a sign saying `COME WITH ME!` Oscar was so worried but he heard a noise in his head saying "go" and then he heard "no use some common sense " but Oscar went with his instinct which was to go so he did, the next thing he new he was surrounded and they all closed in...

Mr. Tomkins

21/11/2017 07:46:57 pm

Well done Oscar - I can really feel that you are using your 100 words to build suspense in this writing. Keep up the good effort. It has been posted on 100wc.

Alfie

21/11/2017 06:08:29 pm

The Grim Reaper

The park is meant to be a place to have fun and hang out but at Riverside park its a completely different story...

In the center of 2 trees lay a dark figure commonly known as the Grim reaper. He stood there with his jet black hood over his angry, fierce face. Everyone was scared of him even the teenagers that spray graffiti and break furniture, have nightmares of the grim reaper under there beds ready for them to go to sleep...

Will you ever encounter this wild beast?

Mr. Tomkins

21/11/2017 07:52:17 pm

Well done Alfie - your character description is very strong. There's a bit about me that wants to build more of a picture of Riverside Park! It is on 100wc.net.

Mr. Tomkins

21/11/2017 07:53:03 pm

All of the above have been published. Remember to find yours in the 100WC tab in this blog; copy and paste the link for your unique entry; comment on someone else's entry and ask them to read yours by pasting the URL.

meganks

22/11/2017 07:06:38 pm

“What’s that noise?” I said to myself. A twig snapping behind me. I turned around, all I could see was darkness. There It was again the same noise. Something is coming closer. I turn, the tree branches reaching out like waving hands but trying to grab me. I run, faster and faster. Mud trying to slow me. I’m sinking, mud pulling at my ankles. Suddenly a black figure with no face appears. I scream but there is no sound.

Bang! as my bedroom door opens, my mum comes in, “You're going to be late for school” she said. Was it a dream?

Mr. Tomkins

22/11/2017 09:12:04 pm

Megan, I am really impressed with this effort: you are really starting to build a picture in the mind of the audience. Suspense is built and the vocabulary is really getting there.

You are also getting stronger with your speech punctuation too - remember you must put punctuation in before you close your speech marks. Good going!

Rachel

23/11/2017 04:03:55 pm

It was a bright morning. I went out into the garden to make daisy chains to put in my hair.
Suddenly I heard a rustling in the trees down at the bottom of the lawn. Running down to investigate what it was, I tripped over a fallen branch. As I struggled up I saw a glimpse of a hooded figure in the trees. We both froze.
Slowly going up to them, I said “Hello… who are you?” They gave no response.
Turning around they nodded in my direction, still they spoke no words but glided off silently into the distance…
I quickly picked up my daisy chains and ran into the house to tell everyone what I had just seen.

Mr. Tomkins

23/11/2017 06:11:07 pm

Good effort Rachel - I really like the way your story starts and ends with a daisy chain, it creates a really nice 'full circle' effect on the writing. It is on 100wc.net. Get commenting. :-)

Eleanor

24/11/2017 05:29:50 pm

The park was weird. Creepy. Dull. Silent. Nothing made a sound until,
“Come Over Here!”
Silence.
“Let’s have some fun!”
What should I do. Run of course. I ran as fast as I could. Whilst I was running something grabbed me. Pulled me in and then I looked behind but all I could see was a plain Old Rusty statue.
Run Run Run and Run until I can run no more is what I should do. When I got back home I should never say a word.
“Mum, what can have for food!”
Sprouts.
“NO!”
Well at least I haven’t been caught.

Mr. Tomkins

24/11/2017 07:26:17 pm

Good effort Eleanor; I have posted your entry. I am delighted that you attempted some 1 word sentences to build suspense and an expanded noun phrase about the statue!

Paulina

24/11/2017 06:15:43 pm

It was my birthday... In the corner of my eye I spotted a black figure staring at me throw the window.

It was morning and i went to go open my curtans and i saw this man standing , staring at me! "Who is that?!" I panicked.

''Who are you talking to Samantha?!'' Shouted my Mum. I always pretend that my friends are around me , even when I'm in public.

''Well um.. um Mum there is someone out side staring at me...''As soon as my Mum looked the man was gone...

Mr. Tomkins

24/11/2017 07:32:51 pm

Good effort Paulina - you have built suspense well around your birthday theme! Well done.

Paulina

24/11/2017 06:18:43 pm

Hey Mr.T my story is called Scary Birthday.. I made it about a birthday because my birthdays coming up and also why not! And Mr.T How was your Day????

Mr. Tomkins

24/11/2017 07:28:18 pm

I thought it might be called that! It is now on 100wc.net! I have had a good day thanks - I spent this afternoon doing some final preparations for somethings that we are doing next week!

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